Dear ex Bestfriend,
There are endless reasons to cut ties with a bestfriend. Especially if that someone is considered family.
Boundaries.
Untrustworthy.
Betrayal.
Selfishness.
Bad intentions.
Inconsistency.
Disrespectful.
Unsupportive.
The list can go on and on…
Sometimes, you need to realize that it’s not meant to be. You and your friend need to break up.
You have to take time and reevaluate this friendship and ask yourself – why you two are friends?
I came across a list of questions to ask yourself if they are your friend or a frenemy. Frenemy as described in urban dictionary; someone that you overall have a good time with and act like your friend but have ulterior motives. These questions had me contemplating about the people that I surrounded myself with. There wasn’t a question where I thought to myself – no, she’s not like that. In fact, they all pertained to my bestfriend at the time actually being my frenemy.
She would flake on plans – that was the only consistent thing about her.
Complain when something wasn’t in her terms – her way or no way.
Repeatedly criticize me jokingly – inconsiderate bitch.
Compliments with a subtle insult attached – passive aggressiveness.
Disrupted my romantic relationships – didn’t even try to get to know him or automatically disliked him – most likely because of jealousy, since she was never happy with her own romantic relationship.
Seems disinterested when I talked about my life – only enjoyed listening to bad news – gossip girl type of person – Wasn’t happy or supportive of my decisions or accomplishments.
I mean, how would one feel after spending time with someone like this?
That’s the question you need to ask your self.
When I asked myself this question – it was all negative thoughts and I felt restless.
There has been three occasions where my bestfriend at the time crossed the line of no return.
One, disregarding boundaries. Two, being disrespectful af. Three, selfishness.
But overall, when I think of these past “bestfriends” I think about the fun, the good, and the happiness they once brought me.
Sometimes we put our feelings down so deep… but those moments where we stop fighting – That is where we feel the most free.
This letter is for my ex bestfriend.
I want to start off, first, by thanking you.
Thank you for being a phone call away.
for being a shoulder to cry on.
for having a reaching hand.
for being down to adventure.
for being honest with me.
for keeping it real with me.
for accepting me, unconditionally.
for supporting me.
for being loyal AF.
for being considerate.
for having an outpour of love.
for having my back.
for standing up for me.
for putting the pieces back together.
for treating me with respect.
Thank you for becoming family.
Some people come into your life for just a moment, for a lesson, while others are meant to stay – well, for…forever.
Just because we didn’t work out as friends, doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there perfect for you.
So thank you for showing me what I don’t need in a bff.
You were someone I could count on and trust with every little detail of my life. Yet, you betrayed me. You turned around and filled everyone in on my personal issues and manners. You didn’t think about the emotional damage you were so carelessly inflicting. You became someone I no longer could trust – so I kept my secrets from you and refrained from telling you anything. I distanced myself. All I could do is give you a glimpse of my life through social media.
You were someone that was very considerate. You understood me like no one ever could. You took your time and checked up on me, planned a dinner date or maybe a coffee date. But one day, you changed into a selfish bitch. I’m not sure what it was – boy problems or the distance or simply, envy. I could no longer count on you being there for when I needed you the most or even just being there to hang out. You didn’t consider anyone’s time – but your own. Only at your convenience would you call, message or hang out.
You treated me with the upmost respect. Treat others how you wished to be treated – you respected my opinions, my culture, and my responsibilities. You were all about respecting one another’s emotional and physical state. I didn’t see this one coming – like at all – but one night after a misunderstanding, you disrespected me. You ended up putting your hands on me and getting physical – to the touch. Not only did you physically disrespect me but hurt my emotional state. I could no longer trust that you would continue respecting me. I kept a distance from you to the point where we no longer speak and I hate that we don’t. I still miss us – the late night laughs, the all-nighters before a big event, the never ending coffee dates, the many adventures, the always having someone to run errands with. I miss everything we stood for and our connection. I miss it. But..i know that it’s better off this way – I’m better off this way.
You were the one that understood and respected my boundaries. But one day – you crossed that line where you decided to get my significant other’s phone number to text him at your convince about whatever it is you wanted. That’s not okay. You had no business trying to get cozy and close to my significant other because you couldn’t find someone that gave you attention. Nice try tho – thinking that my SO would give you the time and day – non like you, he understands boundaries.
You were one that always supported me on all of my success, ideas and even my relationships. You were such a sweet soul with the kindest heart. You valued my achievements for all its worth. You never compared our successes because you knew that our idea of success were different yet – still praiseworthy. That person no longer exists – instead, you didn’t support anything that I was showing happiness towards. I would talk to you about my relationship, my ideas for my now and future, my thoughts on difficult topics, or whatever it may be – and you didn’t give a fuck about any of it. You brought a lot of negative energy around me. You didn’t like anyone in my life that I mentioned. You didn’t give me time to speak or update you on my life – you just talked and talked about you and your problems. You never stopped and took some time to proof read or even read any of my entries before turning them in or posting them – you always just said, “I’ll read it later” and later became never. You only cared for yourself and what others could do for you.
Despite all the reckless and selfish behavior… you still hold a special place in my heart.
I miss our adventures, I miss our endless laughter, I miss our dates, I miss our sleepovers, I miss our phone calls, I miss our bond, I miss you.
Just know that even though I can no longer be there for you like I used to – I am always going to be loving you from afar.
with much love,
EBarona
What qualities do you look for in a bestfriend?
Facebook Comments
