Yes, you read that right. I went on a first date with my ex.
I feel like everyone backslides to their ex at one point. My ex and I broke up about a year and half but did we really?? I mean we would go through phases where we didn’t talk to each other but we somehow always found a way back to each other but not like in a relationship type way, more like a mutual understanding and I guess somewhat friends.
So this is the story of my first date with my ex.
I’ll start from the beginning.
We broke up on a summer day for reasons that all lead up to him having commitment issues with any girl or anyone for that matter. He’s the type of guy to go from girl to girl because he lives for a new adventure and a fresh start.
I remember when we first started talking… he was everything I didn’t want: Military, Gym Rat, and on top of it all Hispanic but not just any Hispanic, Colombian. I’m sure you know who he is by this point. Lol but to the people that met me after my time with him. This is the story of my ex “Chris”.
Anyways, we started talking and at first I was hesitant to even converse with him because I didn’t see this going anywhere nor did I want anything to go anywhere. Butttt, he’s the type to captivate you in ways that he knows will work for you. I guess you can call him a people person, which he is. I call it, womanizer. Which I didn’t know at the time.
Womanizer, as told by urban dictionary:
A man who is basically a man whore and uses women.
A person (usually male) who plays with multiple women’s emotions until he gets them to have feelings for him and then ends the relationships the second they do.
He was so sweet.. too sweet
He was there for me.
He gave me everything my other relationship lacked.
He gave me hope that not all guys are assholes… I was wrong lol
He was the picture perfect “boyfriend”
Bought me flowers, took me on dates, took me out of town with family for New Years, made me feel a part of his family, told me his secrets, held my hands and kissed them, kissed me passionately, gave me his attention, would go on adventures with me, would hold my purse, surprise me with little things… etc.
But Chris, like most, just likes the chase. He likes that feeling of new and the feeling of the person not knowing him as a whole. Anddd I got to know him pretty well. Like, I know exactly who he is! In many many ways he’s just like me, whether he likes it or not.
It sucks because even during our relationship he would give his attention and show interest to other girls. Girls, of course, would fall for him but I don’t blame them, he’s a good looking guy and very nice. I get it. I fell for it too. The charm, the pretty face, and the passion he radiates.
So we broke up. Didn’t speak to him and went through the break up phases in about a week and I was good to go (I meannn, we didn’t really go out for that long anyways). I went on multiple dates with other guys and then somehow, we started talking again. It didn’t stop me from dating, but it stopped me from taking it to the next level with any guy.
We had this unspoken understating that we were single together. Meaning we’re going to go out places together and hang out with each other but we’re single. Meaning we’re “dating” but not. Meaning we’re friends with benefits. Meaning we’re alone together. Meaning… single. together.
Then we stopped talking again because he started hanging with another girl (which was fine by me, trust me.) this girl was hanging with his family and everything and going on dates with him and all but she didn’t know that him and I were still seeing each other about once a week. I felt a bit bad so I stopped talking to him. we didn’t speak for months because that’s not right. They never became official or anything and not sure how long that fling lasted. But it wasn’t my place to warn her.
Months passed without talking and we somehow reconnected again.
Give me a break…
We went on a few first dates.
First date to the gym since we broke up.
First date getting food and going to the park to eat it since we broke up.
First date drinking beer and taking a walk afterwards since our breakup.
First date kisses since our breakup.
First gathering with friends since our break up.
We did a lot of firsts again since our breakup.
Our first date after the break up:
Before this date I follow Dua Lipa’s rules for exs.
One: Don’t pick up the phone
You know he’s only callin’ ’cause he’s drunk and alone
Two: Don’t let him in
You’ll have to kick him out again
Three: Don’t be his friend
You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him
So keeping these rules in mind, let’s continue to our first date.
At first, we were just seeing each other for pleasure.. somehow it changed to going out places together. In public!
So not giving a fuck what people had to say or think about our friendship, we had a solid friendship that had its benefits.
He came and picked me up from my house, like a true gentleman. We went to a local spot in town that we used to go to all the time back when we were together. He opened the door for me, like he always does because he has manners. We ate, had a few too many beers then decided to take a stroll around town to sober up. We walked and ended up at the park and stayed there for a moment or two, we kissed and admired each other. We started reminiscing about the good times we had together and how crazy it is that we always end up connecting again. How we’re always there even after time and time of not speaking or knowing about each other. We were both in our feels but that was just the alcohol talking. We hop into his car and go for a drive before we head to my house. We part took in a fun little activity on our drive and by the time we got to my house, I felt like I was on cloud 9. We wait a minute in his car and talk about our plan for when we go inside. We decide: take a shower together, put on comfy clothes or not, put on New Girl or The Office, and go to bed. That was our plan and of course reading in between the lines, sexy time would happen.
We made it to taking our clothes off and wrapping ourselves in our towels to head to the bathroom except we never left my room and instead laughed our asses off about non sense and taking silly Polaroids of each other. Our towels ended up on my bedroom floor and we, on my bed.
We woke up the next morning laughing at our adventure and kissed goodbye before starting our day.
So you can say I easily broke all three rules in one day.
One: I did pick that phone up
Two: I did let him in
Three: I became his friend and we ended up in my bed
Dua Lipa would be so disappointed in me.
We started hanging out again, going out, making out, going to the gym… doing the same things we would do when we were together. This time people started questioning me about my relationship with him and if we were back together. We never got back together. We were single together.
We never spoke about what went on between the time apart because it’s non of our business. We kept things casual and light. I know the kind of person he is, I can be that person too.
I think he was confident in my emotions and thought he could play me if need be (womanizer type ish). He thought he could just be the inconsistent person he is and that would make me mad and drop him so he didn’t have to be the one to end it again. He doesn’t realize I know how to play this game better. He doesn’t realize that I know him so well that my feelings for him doesn’t exist like they used to. I only desired him. I only desired his company for some times and our bodies desired each other.
We’re friends.
We’re single.
We’re together.
We strayed away again and he didn’t realize that I have been planning this stray for a while now. It worked. We don’t really talk anymore.
However, the only consistent thing in his life is how he still takes advantage of girls. Playing with their emotions and making them feel like one of a kind. Trust me. I know. He does this to every girl, no matter who they are or what they do or how old they are.
I also think he picks girls that are vulnerable. I mean that’s how we ended up together, I was weak, depressed and broken when we met because I had literally just gotten my heart broken by my long time boyfriend three days before we met.
I see girls posting him on their social media and showing him off and being happy for his accomplishments and tagging him on their dates and snapping him sexy pics.
And I can’t say or do anything about it because it’s not my place.
But these girls don’t realize that he’s giving his attention to every other girl. You believe that just because he’s so busy with life that he only makes time for you, that he only puts the effort to communicate with you and to plan things with you. Unfortunately, you have it all wrong. But don’t worry, you’ll soon grow tired of his games and find someone deserving. Don’t give into his big eyes and passionate touch.
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